


He needs some MILK

by pancakeylions



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Vines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 15:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16875249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pancakeylions/pseuds/pancakeylions
Summary: Pidge decides to meme the entire team with vines.Rating for language.





	He needs some MILK

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this months ago and didnt post it like a coward. Also Adam and Shiro are together in this but only like,,, vaguely and it wouldnt let me add that tag on my phone thats why they arent mentioned lmao

Matt just wanted to enjoy his dinner. He's just chillin' eating peas, with his mom, and his dad, and his sister, and John Cena the Dog, and everyone in fucking Voltron. He helped lead a goddamned rebellion after all, it's what he deserves.

Hunk made an offhand comment about getting complimented a lot more since returning from space. The rest of the Paldins give their agreement.

"I don't know, I get the same amount of conpliments as before," Lance says, shoving potatoes in his mouth.

"But you didn't-" Pidge starts.

"That's my point."

"Mood," Keith says, dabbing.

"Idk y'all," Matt says, playing with his fork. "I get compliments all the time." This statement is followed by roarous laughter from Pidge.

"Katie, how could you do this to me?" Matt asks, looking genuinely offended.

"Sorry just- you getting compmoments knocks my socks off, not gonna lie."

~~~~

Hunk was very calmly making food in his kitchen- which just so happened to be the first thing he did when he arrived home. He said "Hi" to his moms and then went to make waffles in the kitchen. His beautiful, beautiful kitchen. With real food instead of bullshit goo.

The rest of the paladins had just woken up and were sitting at the kitchen table, talking amongst themselves, before Pidge comes in holding her bayard- and smiling.

"Hey, Pidge," Hunk says, setting the bowl filled with waffle mix on the counter.

"What's got you so happy?"

"Oh nothing," Pidge says casually, and then she tases him. He falls to the ground shaking from the shock and Pidge says, "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

~~~~

Lance just wanted to spend some quality time with his siblings- was that too much to ask?

Apperently, when it came to a certain gremlin named Pidge, it was. He was playing frisbee with Veronica, and instead of cathing it, he moves out of the way. Insticts training him to avoid it after years of fighting in a war. Lance, however, was completely unaware that a certain green paladin was right behind him.

So Pidge got hit, Hyacinthus style, in the side of the head with a frisbee

"Pidge I'm so sorry are you okay?"

"Aw fuck," she starts and Lance's face immediately moves from concern to annoyance.

"Pidge, I swear to all that is holy-"

"I cant believe-"

"I SWEAR TO GOT KATIE HOLT-"

"You've done this!"

Lance looks up at the sky and Pidge can see his lips moving. He looks back down at her and suddenly shes being lifted off of her feet.

"Wait! Lance! I'm sorry don't-"

She screams as he throws her into the sea.

~~

Lance would like to revoke every nice thing hes ever said about Pidge ever. He's trying to enjoy a nice fucking dinner with his fucking family Shawn Mendez's "Stitches" starts blasting, and at this point, Lance is close to tears.

It only gets worse when Pidge starts doing that stupid walk to the bathroom, and at this point, Lance is crying.

~~~~

Shiro would like to thank God and also Jesus for the fact that the rest of ths Paladins weren't there when be saw Adam again. Shiro wasn't stupid- he knew what Vines were- he'll he spent most of his free time watching and making vine comps.

He knew what Pidge would say when she met Adam, he knew she had an extra inhaler on her just so she coukd make the joke.

He could only hope that Adam somehow lost all of his politeness when he met the team, and didn't introduce himself. He also hoped Keith didn't say anything.

Shiro's hopes were shot down the second Adam opened his mouth.

"Hi," he said, and Shiro prayed to every god he could think of that Adam didn't introdice himself.

"I'm Adam." Shiro could see Lance wince and hear Hunk's disgruntled noise.

"Pidge, please. You just met the man. Don't." Keith pleaded and Shiro wondered what kind of horrors he witnessed last night. Pidge was already pulling out an inhaler.

"Pidge I will literally buy you the entire whole ass government, please don't."

Pidge put the inhaler to her lips, timing is just right so that when she blew out, Adam did as well causing the smoke to dissipate. She looked up, heart broken.

"A d a m!"

Shiro left the room, while Adam stood there glaring at Pidge.

"Do you think you're original, because I can assure you, I've heard that before."

~~~~

Keith regretted letting Shiro and Adam be alone for a while before Pidge met them.

Pidge was a fucking nightmare and they just arrived at Keith's shack.

First, she ran from his fucking Roomba screeching whilst "She's a Maniac on the Floor" blasted in the background

Then, she took off her glasses, looked Lamce deadass in the eyes and said, "I may have terrible sight, but even I can see you're a basic, shady bitch."

But this, this had to be the worst offense.

"Hey Keith, do you have Kool- Aid?"

"Yeah. It's in the cupboard above your head. Why?"

"No reason." Five minutes later, the cup song starts playing and Keith turns to see Pidge proceed to do the cup song with a full tub of Kool- Aid.

"Pidge."

"Yes?"

"You have three fucking minutes before I launch myself on your ass."

~~~~

In hindsight, Pidge never should've fucked with Lance. Lance was a child of five, he knew how to get revenge, more efficiently than any other human she'd ever met. So when he chucked a duck at her with all his muscle strength, screaming "LOOK AT ALL THOSE CHICKENS!" she shouldn't have been surprised.

She was, but she shouldn't have been.

~~

She also shouldn't have been surprised when Hunk and Keith dumped an entire vat full of guacamole on her head also screaming, "COME TO DEL TACO, WE HAVE THIS NEW THING CALLED FRESHA- FRESHA VACADO!"

~~

Shiro played the trumpet. "WELCOME TO FUCKING CHILIS BITCH!" Adams voice was nice to wake up to in the morning, what wasn't nice to hear first thing, was SHIROS FUCKING TRUMPET.

Pidge admitted she shouldn't have done her fellow Paladins dirty like this, but how could she resist? She was a memelord. Publicly embarrassing her friends was her job. She didn't regret anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are welcomed and ily all of you


End file.
